Even if I die....
by Serenita
Summary: After stars, Usagi and Mamoru are planning for their wedding when a fatal accident occurs to Serena, it effects them both and the future that was planned for them could be destroyed...forever **Chapter three UP!***
1. Chapter One: The Accident

Okay hey all! I decided to redo this because I wasn't happy with it and I am soo sooo sorry for the long delay! Enjoy!  
Serenita  
  
I don't own sailor moon  
  
Even if I die....  
  
Chapter One  
  
A couple walked down a busy street, in the mid-day, in Tokyo, Japan. They held each others hands tightly and a diamond ring glinted in the sunlight on the girl's left hand. The sun was shining brightly and there were no clouds in sight. It was almost as if the day was made perfect for them. The young man, Mamoru, affectionately called Mamo-chan by his love, was tall with broad shoulders, deep midnight hair, and piercing ocean blue eyes. He held a power and dominance that immediately was shown in first meeting. The young woman that he held so tightly was named Usagi, called as Usako by him. She was shorter than him, that wasn't hard to tell, but even though you could tell that she had some power over him, a power of love and of goodness. Her long once golden hair, that had grown longer and was lightening to a pale blonde, was put up into her formal odango's. Her sky blue eyes held warmth and happiness. Her body had now become certainly that of a woman's with curves in the right places. Just looking at the you could tell they were meant to be together. She fit perfectly in his arms and his heart. They loved each other more than life itself.  
  
Hand in hand they walked together right into a jewelry store, very familiar to Usagi. As the entered Usagi looked to see a woman with Auburn hair standing next to a man with short brown hair and intellectual looking glasses. They were both helping a customer look at necklaces. Usagi smiled as she recognized her friend Naru and her husband Umino. They walked foreword just as the woman they were helping at the counter left. Naru turned to see Usagi standing there smiling, her left hand resting on the counter for Naru to see the diamond ring glinting in the light. Naru's eyes opened wide and a happy squeal emitted from her mouth.  
  
"Usagi-chan! He proposed? Mamoru-san proposed? Oh, Kami! It's gorgeous! Simply beautiful!" Usagi Smiled.  
"Yes, it is."  
"So, Usagi, did you come here just to show off your ring?"  
"No, Naru-baka, Mamo-chan and I are here to buy our wedding rings!'  
"Really? Well I am sure I got just the one for you guys." She said as she turned and went into the back room to get something. Usagi smiled and turned to see Mamoru resting in the counter, chin in his hand, staring at her with a half grin on his face. Usagi blushed.  
  
"Mamo-chan! What are you doing?" She asked waving her hand in front of his face. He unexpectedly grabbed her arm and pulled her to him, crushing his lips to hers. Her eyes widened in surprise. She felt his arms that were wrapped tightly around her and his hand that was on the back of her head holding her to him. She was surprised that Mamoru would even consider kissing her in public. He never was very open to it publicly in the past. He always kept most of it private. She pushed away from him. A confused look crossed his face.  
"Usako...what is..."  
"Why are you all of a sudden open to doing this in public? You were always so careful of people watching," she said in a soft voice. "why is now so different?" Mamoru looked surprised.  
"Usako...the only reason I didn't let all of our relationship be seen publicly was because I was so much older than you. It didn't matter to me but people would think I was to old, you too young and our relationship would be terrorized. I didn't want to put you though that." He smiled. "You don't know how hard it is not to kiss you." She smiled happily and threw her arms around his neck. He brought her up into another kiss. She closed her eyes and surrendered herself to him. All she felt was his warmth and his love. She could feel the passion inside of them both and it was wanting to be released. She wondered if they could hold off another three weeks. She didn't even care that they were in public and people were staring. They were just jealous. The world seemed to slip away and they were consumed by each other.  
  
They were quickly pulled out of their world by Naru's giggling and tapping on their shoulders. Two surprised faces turned to see Naru giggling. Naru shook her head.  
  
"You two act as if you are already newly weds."  
"Naru-chan! You and Umino-chan were just as bad if not worse!" Usagi said defensively, smiling at her friend. Naru only shook her head smiling. She placed a medium sized box on the counter covered with dust. Naru wiped it away with a cloth and revealed the royal blue cover under it.  
"My mom had these rings in this store for as long as I could remember. She always said she was saving them for a special couple. She never found them. So she passed them to me. But... I think they have finally found their owners." Naru opened the box to revel two rings. One was made of white gold and had a diamond and regular gold as the center piece of the ring wrapped in a swirl formation that almost looked like a rose. There were ten small diamonds on it, five on each side of the center piece. On the inside of the ring there was an inscription.  
"Forever is too short of a time to love you."   
The other ring was of white and regular gold the wrapped around each other around the whole entire ring (kinda like a candy cane...ya know?). On the inside there was an inscription also.  
"Time may end...but our love is forever."  
When Usagi saw the rings she gasped. They were absolutely perfect. The center piece on the ring meant for her represented her and Mamoru perfectly. She was silver (or white), as of the silver crystal, he was gold, as of the golden crystal. The ten diamonds represented the original scouts; Mercury, Mars, Jupiter, Venus, Neptune, Uranus, Saturn, Pluto, and Chibi Moon. And the ring meant for Mamoru was her and him also, gold and silver, wrapped around each other endlessly, never ending, together forever. She looked at Mamoru and knew that he knew it too. Those rings were meant for them. Usagi looked up at Naru smiling happily.  
"Naru-chan...they're perfect."  
"So you'll have them?"  
"Absolutely." Naru smiled.  
"Then I'll go wrap them up for you." Naru left to wrap them up. Usagi turned to Mamoru and threw her arms around his neck happily.  
"We found them! They're perfect!" He smiled and lean down by her ear.   
"Not as perfect as you." She blushed.  
"Oh, Mamo-chan." She said softly hugging him. "Aishiteru." He smiled at her words.  
"Aishiteru." He said holding her tighter. He released her from their embrace and she smiled back at him as she walked over to Naru to get the rings. Suddenly there was a scream and a man that was walking around the store pulled out a gun and pointed it around the room at people making those around him back away. He turned to Naru and sneered at her.  
"You...put all the Jewelry and Money into this bag...NOW!" Usagi felt her heart leap to her throat in fear. She calmed herself quickly and realization hit her. He was going to take THEIR rings! The perfect ones. She gritted her teeth in anger. She wasn't going to let anyone spoil their wedding... not after they had waited so long... not after they had gone through so much.  
"Hey...Sir...please..."  
"SHUT UP!" He screamed at her. Usagi took a step foreword. He pointed the gun at her. "Another move and you die." Usagi stopped and stared at him. During this time Naru had stepped on a button that she had behind the counter to alert the police, luckily, being that they were just down the street, they came quickly. Just as Usagi was staring at him, distracting him form his surroundings, the police came from behind him, from a back entrance, and grabbed the guy. They gun fell from his hand and landed on the ground. Naru stopped and sighed with relief. Usagi sighed and turned around and started to walk back over to Naru. The robber suddenly pulled out of the police's grasp and fell to the ground. He picked up the gun that was on the floor and raised it. He aimed for Usagi and fired three shots before the police could stop him and knock the gun out of his hands.  
  
Usagi had heard the three shots fired and felt them enter her back. The pain was intense and quickly rushed up to meet her. She stopped, suddenly feeling weak. She shut her eyes, trying to squeeze the pain away. Her legs buckled from under her and she felt her back arch from the intact of the bullets. She opened her eyes and looked to see Mamoru standing there, horror struck. His eyes were open wide in horror and shock. She reached out her hand to him, tears of pain starting to roll down her cheeks.   
"Ma...mo-ch..an..." She whispered hoarsely to him as she started to collapse to the ground. She braced herself for impact with the ground, but it never came. Warm, strong arms surrounded her and broke her fall. She looked up to see Mamoru holding her, tears in his eyes.  
"Usako?USAKO!?" He called to her, his voice panicked.  
"I'm..sorry...I didn't want..."  
"Shh... It's okay." He softly consoled her. He softly touched her cheek and wiped a tear away. He could feel her small body straining. Her eyes started to become heavy, she fought to keep them open, but they wouldn't obey. She felt darkness consume her.  
Mamoru saw her try to fight back the weariness that quickly consumed her. He panicked as realization struck him. He looked up to the people staring at him. "Call an ambulance! SOMEBODY!" Naru ran to call but Mamoru realized they might not be able to get there in time...Usagi could be dead by then. He picked her up in his arms, holding her tightly and ran out onto the street, heading for the hospital.  
The trip to the hospital was a complete blur of color and emotions. People dodged out of his way as they saw him coming. It was as if nothing could stop him. He looked down at Usagi's face, which was now becoming pale. He could feel the blood that was on his arms and shirt...her blood. That just made him run faster. Thoughts blurred his thinking. Memories of the past...all the death...the pain... Determination gripped Mamoru. He silently made a vow to her unconscious form.  
"I let you die before...but I won't let you leave me again." And he held her body closer to him as the hospital came into view. 


	2. Chapter Two: Realization and the News

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon  
  
Enjoy!  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Mamoru ran into the emergency room of the hospital, holding Usagi tightly in his arms. Those that were there in the room looked up surprised when they heard the doors slam open. They looked to see a young man in his early 20's holding a small figure of a young woman in his arms. Blood was stained on his shirt and caked on his arms. Some dripped down onto the floor creating a tiny puddle. The young woman, was unconscious, her arms hanging limply at her side. The young man was gasping for air, as if he had ran hard and fast. Sweat was on his forehead and dried tears on his cheeks. Although one could tell her had been crying, his face and eyes shown only anger, worry, and determination.  
"What the hell are you all staring for!?" he yelled angrily. "I need....she needs a doctor..."his voice suddenly became meek and worried. "Please...I...I can't help her...I can't help...work..." The nurses there could tell her was going to break down soon and ran to get a doctor. Tears blurred Mamoru's vision. He was about to start sobbing when a soft voice called out to him.  
"Mamo-chan?"   
His eyes, filled with tears, widened in shock and looked down at the form of the woman in his arms. Her eyes were half open.   
"Why...why are you crying...Mamo-chan?" He fell to his knees in shock. He gulped hard in his throat trying to hold back his tears and let out a small gasp at the effort.  
"U...usako?" he asked, touching her face softly. She winced in pain because of her wounds. He gasped again. "Usako?" she opened her eyes slightly and smiled at him through her obvious torment.   
"I'm fine...Mamo-chan...I'll be fine." She said with effort to keep her voice from cracking. She reached up and touched his newly tearstained face. "I'm not leaving you...not yet...don't...worry about it." His body seemed to falter him with her words. He gulped again against the new tears and he held her tightly to his chest. The nurses came around with a doctor and a stretcher. They pulled Usagi out of Mamoru's tight grasp with effort and placed her on the stretcher. He got up and started to follow when two male nurses grabbed him and held him in his place.  
"Let me go! I am a doctor! Let me go!" He yelled angrily.  
"Even so, you aren't a doctor here. You can't go back there unless you work here." Mamoru started to strain against their hold but was weak from running and let out an exasperated sigh. They let go of him, knowing that he wasn't going anywhere. "Come with us. We'll get you a new shirt and a place you can wash up in." Mamoru was confused by their words. He looked down and saw his shirt drenched with blood...Usagi's blood. He was a ghastly sight. It looked more like her had been shot then her. He looked at his arms and hands. He cried out surprised to see them covered and caked with blood. He saw his arms streaked with dried and some fresh blood. He fell back to his knees as full realization hit him. He wouldn't believe it. He couldn't. No. She was fine. She wasn't bleeding. It was paint...only paint... And she had cut herself while painting and he had spilled paint on himself while rushing over to her. Yes. She was fine. But as much as he tried to deny it, he knew that it was blood...truly her blood, not paint, and that the one he loved most, might be dying.  
  
Mamoru stared at his reflection in the mirror that was in the bathroom that he was in. The staffs own personal washroom was open to him in his state both physical and mental. He had changed out of his other shirt and was lent one of the hospitals own made t-shirts so he wouldn't have to go walking around like a patient. He had scrubbed his body for almost an hour to get rid of all the blood that was on him. He could still feel it's warmth on his body. He felt like it was till there, like it stained him. Tears flooded his eyes once more. He turn his head away from his reflection. He didn't want to look at himself. He was worthless. She was right there...right there...and he did nothing. He swore to protect her, was born to live for her, and he did nothing. He couldn't save her. Anger swelled up in him, anger at himself. He pulled back his right arm and punched his hand right into the mirror, crying out in frustration. It shattered instantly, falling in millions of pieces to the ground. He watched the mirror shatter before his eyes. Some sliced into his knuckles, making them bleed. He realized that it was similar to the situation now. That it probably would now happen...he had probably destroyed the future. He turned away from the broken mirror and looked to see a young nurse staring at him, her hand over her mouth horrified. He brought his bleeding hand down and let it hang, dripping on the floor. She walked over and gently took his hand and lead him to a room. She sat him down and brought over a wash cloth, a towel, and a bowl of water. She took his hand without looking at him and started to clean it. At first he didn't look at her, he was almost ashamed to. He eventually turned his head to look at her. She had long pink hair that was pulled back into loops that wrapped around to the back of her head. Her blue eyes looked intently on his wound. He still sat there and said nothing.  
"Would I be offensive if I asked what is troubling you?" She asked not looking away from is wound, starting to pull out the pieces of glass embedded in his hand. He was silent for a moment and looked away from her.  
"My...my fiancée was shot today...at a jewelry store...when it was being robbed." She nodded, letting him know that she was listening.  
"I heard about that." A rush suddenly went through his body.  
"You know how she is doing?" He asked urgently sitting upright.  
"No, I just heard about it." He fell back into the chair.  
"Oh." There was a brief silence between them.  
"I understand what you are going through." He looked at her. She stopped and looked up to meet his eyes. She held his gaze. "My husband was murdered eight months ago."  
"I'm..."   
"You don't have to say you're sorry. It's not your fault and I'm okay now." She looked down and went back to cleaning his hand. "But I want you to know I understand what you are going through. My husband died in this very hospital. And all awhile I....I couldn't help him." Mamoru's eyes opened wide. "I couldn't help him because I was so afraid....I was so tense and scared...the doctors said it would be best not to work on him. So I didn't... When I found out...that he had died...I blamed myself...I went to extremes." She paused for a second as she pulled out medical tape to tape the cloth on his hand. She looked up at him. "I'm sure you're fiancée will be fine. Just...don't blame yourself...okay?" He stared at her for a moment, contemplating her speech. He slowly nodded, agreeing. She smiled. "Good. You're all done." Mamoru stood up, with a half smile on his face.  
"Thank you."  
"You're welcome." He turned and left the room. As he walked down the hall to the waiting room, he remembered the nurse's speech and kept her hidden messages in his mind. He slumped down into a chair, his body suddenly overcome with weariness. He ran a free hand through his hair and it slumped back into place. He placed his head into his hands sighed deeply. Suddenly he heard the door to the hospital open. He looked up and saw eight weary worried girls walk in. He smiled. Rei, Ami, Minako, Makato, Haruka, Michiru, Setsuna, And Hotaru walked into the hospital talking all at once with worried expressions. It looked as if Minako had been crying, with her tearstained face. They spotted Mamoru and ran to him, crying out his name. He stood up and welcomed all their embraces.  
"Mamoru-kun, what happened to Usagi-chan?" Ami asked. His eyes widened.  
"What? You mean the hospital didn't tell you?" They all shook their heads.   
"They just said Usagi was in the hospital... that's all." Makato said. "What's wrong with her?" She asked urgently looking for answers. He sighed.  
"Today, we were at Naru-chan's jewelry store, and there was a robber. Usagi was shot three times in the mess of things." He said softly. Minako broke down crying again and turned to Makato's comforting arms. Makato herself was wavering to be strong. Michiru gasped and embraced Haruka for comfort. Setsuna looked sadly at Mamoru as she held Hotaru's shaking form. Ami's hand flew to her face, in utter shock. Rei only turned away from the group and faced the wall for support. She was crying, but she suddenly felt very weak.  
"Chiba-san?" a new voice asked. The girls moved out of the way for a doctor who had come up behind them.  
"Yes?" The doctor sighed.  
"I am Dr. Kinshikawa, Tsukino-san's doctor. I have an update on her condition." Mamoru's heart jumped.  
"You do? How is she? Is she okay? Will she be okay?"  
"Chiba-san I suggest you sit down." Fear rushed through his body. Doctors only asked someone to sit down if it was bad news. Being a doctor himself he knew that. He would not except that. He grabbed a hold of the doctor's shoulders tightly.  
"How...Is...She?" He asked slowly and sternly, with force. His mind whirled and he body trembled at anticipation of the news. The doctor sighed.  
  
  
"Tsukino-san is dying." 


	3. Chapter Three: She's not dying!

TA DA! Here it is! The long long long awaited third chapter of Even if I die. I apologize a thousand million gagillion times about not writing any new chapters this summer! That will change I am now continuing to write some new chapters for the rest of my stories and some new ones. Thank you to all my supportive readers! You guys help so much! Luv ya all! Enjoy!  
Serenita  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon  
  
  
  
  
Chapter Three  
  
"How...Is...She?" He asked slowly and sternly, with force. His mind whirled and he body trembled at anticipation of the news. The doctor sighed.  
  
  
"Tsukino-san is dying."  
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Mamoru suddenly saw blackness and his whole body and soul felt numb. The doctors words echoed in his head endlessly. He felt dizzy and awake at the same time. He grasped the doctor's shoulders tighter, trying to keep his balance, to stop his knees from giving way. The cries of horror and astonishment that came from the women that stood behind him were barely heard by his ears. The echoing continued.   
Dying? His Usako...dying? The one who was full of life and love? The one who's smile made his day? The one who he got up and lived each day for? No. It couldn't be true. She couldn't die. He wouldn't let her. He suddenly felt his strength return to him. He stared the doctor directly in the eyes, glaring.  
"You're lying."  
"Chibi-san, I have done all that I can, I am quite sure that she will not make it through the..."  
"YOU'RE LYING!" Mamoru screamed into the doctor's face, shaking his shoulders roughly, as if trying to shake the words he wanted to hear from him. Breathing heavily he held the doctor in his place. "Don't lie to me about my Usako...don't say what isn't true. She isn't dying." The doctor tried to protest but Mamoru held him and cut him off. "SHE ISN'T DYING!" He screamed louder in his face. Suddenly he felt arms grab him roughly from behind. To male nurses held him in an unmovable position. He struggled and kicked as they pulled him back away from the doctor. They kept trying to quite him with 'Sir' and 'Calm Down' but he wouldn't listen...he wouldn't let himself believe that words that had come from the doctor's mouth. But he also knew, he would never be able to see his Usako if he didn't cooperate. Mamoru stopped struggling and looked up to see all the former scouts staring at him horrified, tears running down their faces. Mamoru tried to catch his breath, breathing hard after all of the struggling he put up. After a few moments he was released from the death grip he was put in. He straightened his clothing and walked towards the doctor.  
"I'm...I'm...sorry, sir. I never...I mean I..." The doctor stopped him and half smiled, almost to comfort him.  
"I understand sir. You don't need to explain." Mamoru sighed. "Demo..." Mamoru looked up at him.  
"What? What is it?" The doctor looked at the group of women behind Mamoru.  
"Please, come with me. I need to speak with you, privately." The doctor turned and walked away, obviously expecting Mamoru to follow him. Mamoru looked at the girls and shrugged. He followed the doctor reluctantly. He did not like the look on the Doctors face. He followed him down some hallways and into a small room. There was a table and two chairs. The doctor lead Mamoru in and sat him down after closing the door to the room. The doctor sat down and removed his glasses, rubbing his temple.  
"Chiba-san, I brought you here to talk to you. What I did say back there was true. Tsukino-san is dying. The bullets punctured her lungs, making one collapse and the other is hanging on by a thread. One also broke a vertebrae in her spine and paralyzes is possible. And one also went through her abdomen and damaged several organs. She has lost a lot of blood and even with a transfer there is no way that she could live." Mamoru started to protest but the doctor stopped him. "Chiba-san! Listen to me!" He shouted as he banged his fist against the table hard, as if to drive the truth into his mind. "She is dying. There is no use denying this. It will just make you loose time, the precious time you have left." Something in Mamoru changed, the doctor saw it immediately. Mamoru stared at the table wide eyed for a moment. His eyesight became blurry as tears came to his eyes. He looked up at the doctor horrified.  
"Oh my God." Was the only words the escaped his mouth before he buried his head into his hands and cried.  
  
The door slammed shut as Mamoru walked into the room that Usagi was in. His hand remained on the handle and his back against the door. Tears streamed down his face and his eyes were wide in shock as he saw her lying there on the hospital bed. Tubes ran from all over, attached to her in multiple places. She had a mask on to help her breathe. 'A collapsed lung.' She had a neck brace on to hold her neck straight. 'A damaged vertebrae.' Her face had no glow, her hair was dull, and she wasn't moving. She looked so pale, so lifeless, so...so... 'dead'. 'NO! She wasn't! She'll be fine.' But somewhere inside he knew that she really was dying. She really was going to leave him, and he would be all alone again. He walked foreword to her beside and sat in a chair that was placed there. He took her hand in his and held it as he looked at her. He reached over and brushed away stray hairs from her face. More tears came to his eyes. She felt so warm. He let them fall and had no intention of stopping them. Pictures...memories suddenly came to his mind as he held her hand. Memories of the past, their past. All the times he held her, kissed her, loved her, and all the time he pushed her away, all the times he was too busy for her and all the times he couldn't be with her because of something so insignificant. He realized that he didn't deserve her. No one did. No one on earth deserved her. She was an Angel. Perfect. She was an angel. A sudden odd look came over Mamoru. He smiled as he cried in a sort of lunatic way. He stood up and kissed her hand, and then kissed her forehead. And he let go and walked out of the room and out of the hospital with not so much as a goodbye or a wave to the former Sailor Scouts.  
  
He soon found himself standing at a bridge that went over a normally docile river. But the rains had been heavy this season and the banks had been prohibited to walk on. He watched the river rush by quickly. He calculated that he was about 20 feet above the river. There were a lot of rocks down there for sure, covered up by the rushing water. He looked up to the moon and to the heavens. He closed his eyes as he felt a cool autumn breeze brush over him. 'I promise you, Usako. That when you die, I will be the first one to welcome you to heaven. To the place that you belong. My angel, My Usako. I can't live without you.' He opened his eyes and began to climb over the railing of the bridge, preparing to jump off it, into the rushing, welcoming waters.  
  
  
With every great story comes great cliffhangers. I like this one! (Dodges fruit and tomatoes) AAAACCCKKKK! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Really I am! 


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